Ben I can’t believe that we are finally about to meet you for the first time, your mommy and I have been waiting for this day for a long time now in fact our journey to you started long before you were born in even before your older sisters and brothers were born for years we waited for God’s perfect timing and God’s perfect child and now we know it’s you.
I have tons of butterflies right now at the nervous excitement I’m excited about being our son and I’m taking him for the first time but there’s nothing. He’s having left all of our kids back in North Carolina does a lot like right before you have a baby biologically to me like you’re super excited and exhausted at the same time and just ready for that new time to begin with him even though obviously adding a child to our home is going to be far more work than any adoption process was.
I think we were talking the other day about how we wanted to adopt since we’ve been married.
11 years ago that ended process itself takes a year and it almost because I feel like it’s some point you’re never actually going to get to this point and in the last couple weeks a lot of pieces come together really quickly and so all the sudden you go feeling like we ever going to meet him to a couple of days away from your son.
I always wondered if you would be a boy or a girl how old you would be whether you would have dark hair and eyes like Mommy or light hair and eyes like your daddy now I know you are precious to your old baby boy who has black hair and brown eyes and the chubbiest Swedish cheeks.
we are in Beijing in our hotel we just finished up day one here we are one day closer to meeting our son on Monday I don’t think we’re afraid of his special needs but we definitely have a sobriety about them may we clearly understand what it means to raise a child with Down Syndrome having an eight-year-old and so were aware of what that’s going to mean for our family, but hard does equal hard, but but it doesn’t always equal bad and that’s definitely the way I see raising a child with Down Syndrome is hard but it’s not bad, there’s tons of good that comes from the hardness.
And again our experience with Sam has conditioned us some degrees to to respond that way because we’ve actually experienced not only the extra challenges but along with that also just blessings that come from Sam to us that are in part because of his disability there’s a lot of Beauty in Down syndrome itself that leads us to be not only okay but actually excited about who Ben is about all that including having Down syndrome so not naive to the fact that there’s going to be any challenges but excited about how God is handcrafted him and especially made him for our family.
I can remember the day a picture of the most handsome little boy with jet black hair chubby cheeks and beautiful eyes popped up on my phone by life change that day because it was the first time I ever saw you I see lots and lots of pictures of wonderful little boys and precious little girls who needed a mommy and a daddy but there was something more this time I’m not sure exactly what it was but there was a certain sense that perhaps this particular little boy was meant to be my son.
Yeah so right now we’re in the van on the way to meet our son for the very first time so I think my expectations are frame or around a long-term perspective I wish today is just the very first step I’m assuming that it’s going to be a long journey we’re going to have to learn him he’s going to learn us substances we’re going to have to earn his trust as parents and I’m not presuming that all that will just be handed to us the first moment he sees us.
I think one of the hardest part about Gotcha Day is the reality that for our son it’s not feeling like a celebration it’s going to feel really hard because he has been cared for and loved and known by these women that Morningstar.
what about for you?How does it affect you?
I mean I wouldn’t hurt for him like especially you know what it felt like to love my children and have them love me and so it felt like we’re taking you from the people he loves it’s really hard cuz I know that’s the only long-term solution they can’t keep it’s just hard to know that you’re going to hurt him for for a short time.
yeah in that moment where they bring him into us and we gets up say hello to hear for the first time and I need the Robi some patients anxious as they’re like how is he going to respond how are we going to relate to him I want to say that I love you I love you and I’ve loved you for a long time I’ve loved you before you even came to be knowing that I had a child that would grow not in my room but in my heart and that just so happy to be your mommy.
and it does seem surreal like we’re going to we’re not just watching this and she’s going to be part of our phase me my son and we’re going to walk out as a family.
And now we are her at the doorstep of our new life together as a family forever and we couldn’t be happier Welcome to our family son your Daddy loves you I love you welcome to our family.